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  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Elvis Presley - Stuck On You
  • Reading: VC Andrews - Cloudburst
  • Watching: Chicago
  • Playing: Solitaire
  • Eating: Marinara penne
  • Drinking: Peach punch
Hello To Anyone Who Actually Reads These Things!

I've decided to start a big @$$ project for myself, because I actually think it's something I could really do. I want to write a novel or novella (depending on how long it ends up being) about a young woman who moves to Los Angeles to become a writer and is failing, but through others and connections ends up getting sucked into Hollywood glamour and drama of sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

The story follows the protagonist Sam, neurotic but earnest, four years struggling and failing to be a professional writer is beginning to take its toll and wear her down. The situation however is entirely her own doing due to her perfectionist nature and shaky self-esteem, since none of her works feel 'finished' or 'good enough' to her, regardless of what others may say about it. Everything changes for her when her former best friend suddenly contacts her out of the blue.

The two were childhood friends who came to L.A. together to achieve their dreams of stardom, after which her companion Leah gained monumental success and popularity as a model three years prior. The two had not spoken since Leah's career took off, but now she wishes to rectify that and rekindle hers and Sam's friendship. Once a bright, exuberant woman with a sunny disposition, Leah's accomplishments lost their rewarding luster after she became victim to a dangerous and clever stalker. She spent the next three years living in fear until he was finally caught, and now the fragile and unbalanced woman is making an attempt to take back control of her life, starting with bringing her closest friend back into her life.

Leah then brings Sam into her world, and that's where the Hollywood frenzy begins. Being primarily propelled by the pair's friendship with an unabashedly popular three-man punk-rock band from Britain, the wild roller coaster of fame, paparazzi, wealth, glitz, glamour, manipulations, mind games, politics, romance, parties, and sexuality that is show business consumes her. And she starts to question and doubt all of her hard work leading up to this is what she truly wants.

... So yeah, that's the jist. No idea if it's interesting at all or too cliched, but I already have piles of ideas and really want to get them down. I at least want to try. :3

'Till next rant!


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If you stare into the abyss,
It'll stare back, or so they say
But that's a lie, it won't just stare,
It pulls you in, drags you away

Down, down, down, this weight's pull on me
The bony hands, grip tight, their pull so heavy

Burn, burn, burn, these rays are fire
The softest down, or silk, it rips like barbed wire

I can't, stay up,
I can't, lie down,
Stuck in, limbo,
Inside, I drown,
No life or death
No beat in chest
Please grant my wish
To let me rest

Pound, pound, pound, agony goes on
Oh no treatment, no drug, will make this pain gone

Scream, scream, scream, and nobody hears
Slight rustling, pin drop, splitting through my ears

I can't, stay up,
I can't, lie down,
Stuck in, limbo,
Inside, I drown,
No life or death
No beat in chest
Please grant my wish
To let me rest

Wanna rip out my eyes
Just to make it go dark
Feel the devil inside
And he's making his mark
He won't take me to hell
It's worse here now I see
Now I'm an empty shell
Stuck in purgatory

I can't, stay up,
I can't, lie down,
Stuck in, limbo,
Inside, I drown,
No life or death
No beat in chest
Please grant my wish
To let me rest

I can't, stay up,
I can't, lie down,
Stuck in, limbo,
Inside, I drown,
I long for death
No tears to weep
Oh hear my prayer
To let me sleep
Was listening to 'O Death' a lot today and got inspired to put this together. Been a while since I finished something, and am pretty pleased with this one.

Lyrics (c) to me. 
Lazy Summer Nights

The heat surrounds me, engulfs me

It’s been unseasonably hot as of late

I love it

I couldn't wait for my shift to end

I couldn't peel off my sweaty uniform fast enough

I walked down the bustling streets, savouring the sweet warmth of summertime sunshine on my skin

All I need are sunglasses

All kinds of music fills my ears


I finally collapsed on the bed

The fatigue of the day catches up to me

A sight for sore eyes approaches

Dripping wet

My fatigue evaporates


I lay on the bed

Relaxation easing into my body

A spider on the ceiling plays peeping tom

I need to move


I sip ice water

The TV fills any would-be silence gaps

The smell of marijuana and tobacco fills the room

Human warmth at my side

June warmth everywhere else

The sun has now long gone

I love summer
Lazy Summer Nights
An old poem I wrote back in 2009. I actually have a soft spot for this one.

Poem (c) to me. 
The Lotus Flower

I feel like the lotus flower

An Egyptian water flower

That was revered as a sun flower

It comes into full bloom as the sun rises

But retreats into the water as soon as the sun sets

I never understood why it was holy

It would bloom and shine only while the sun was bright

The moment times became dark it would evelop inside itself

And disappear into the inky black

How could something

That would flee the moment things weren’t perfect

Be holy?

How could something that sunk and enveloped itself into the dark despair as soon as its sunlight turned its back

Be a beacon of light?

What message does that send people?

You can only be bright and beautiful and loved

When times are good?

If life becomes bleak

You should just shut yourself off and disappear?

I feel like a lotus flower

Loved only when the sun shines
The Lotus Flower
Wrote this a while back and totally forgot about it. Found it while flipping through an old notebook, figured I'd upload it.

Poem (c) to me. 

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Lamb--Ox Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2009  Student Photographer
That's Fine (:

WithinIllusion Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2006
Welcome to dA! Lovely to see a new face around here. Check out the FAQ for any help or ask me.

Enjoy Your Stay

Lalsred85 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks a lot! :hug:
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